


nesting pains

by Cân Cennau (gwenynnefydd)



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Arguments, F/M, Female Elim Garak, Genderfluid Elim Garak, Genderswap, Intersex Kelas Parmak, Permanently 63, Post-Canon Cardassia, Rule 63, She/Her Pronouns for Elim Garak, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-07-09 13:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19888699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenynnefydd/pseuds/C%C3%A2n%20Cennau
Summary: After an ill-advised one night stand, Elim Garak is left pregnant as she leaves for Cardassia. With Doctor Parmak for company and medical care, Elim is perfectly content to nurse her egg and raise it without any interference from the hatchling's father.That is, until Julian Bashir turns up.





	nesting pains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TiaNaut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiaNaut/gifts).



> This was such a fun prompt! Pregnancy fics are right up my street, and I'm glad I got to write one! TiaNaut, I hope you like it! :D

Garak was fairly certain she was in Hell.

Cardassians did not, as a whole, have a conception of Hell, but Garak had been around humans to understand it, and she was pretty certain it looked like Julian Bashir and Kelas Parmak having tea on her settee. There was this weird sense of compersion at the sight - these were two parts of her life that Gark very much did not expect to collide, and yet here it was. Kelas looked just the same as Garak had left them this morning, vitilligo-dappled scales covered by an inordinate amount of knitwear, but Julian looked somewhat different. Perhaps it was the unfamiliar cream-gold Cardassian clothing, or the lines that had gathered around his mouth, but he looked much more…  _ serious _ and mature than he ever had on Deep Space Nine.

That being said, the last time Garak had seen him, he had been leaving her quarters after an ill-advised one night stand that left her gravid, so perhaps she could be forgiven for her surprise at his appearances.

“My dear doctors,” she said, with a slight bow. “How… unexpected.”

“Elim,” Kelas smiled at him warmly. “Doctor Bashir dropped by. He’s joining the Federation Civilian Corps - he moved into the apartments in the next district.”

“Garak.” Julian nodded at him, and smiled, and Garak firmly told her stomach to stop flip-flopping. “It’s been a while.”

“It has. Why are you here?”

“As Kelas said, I’m joining the Civilian Corps. Helping out the recovery effort and all that.”

“You’ll probably see him often, Elim.” Kelas added. “Doctor Bashir, I’m not certain if she told you, but Elim and I run the medical detail in this district. And she is the  _ pur-nim  _ of the district too.”

Julian acknowledged the alternate pronoun use with barely a blink. “It would be nice to work with you again.”

“I’m certain it would be  _ interesting _ .” Elim said dryly. “But why are you  _ here _ ? In my  _ house _ .”

“Can’t I drop in on an old friend?” Julian’s smile was brittle, and growing more fragile by the second.

“We didn’t exactly part on good terms, Doctor.” Garak said quietly. “I believe you left dedicating your life to Starfleet.”

“And you left pregnant.”

Garak sighed. “Did you have to tell him all my secrets, Kelas?”

“I didn’t have to.” Kelas said primly. “Put a doctor in front of a pair of ultrasounds, and they’ll figure it out soon enough.”

Of course - Garak had stuck her first ultrasounds on the fridge, so of course Julian would see them. She cursed her foolish sentimentality, but couldn’t quite bring herself to regret sticking it up there. It was her egg after all.

“I’m the father, aren’t I Garak?” Julian asked, his voice gentle. Garak saw Kelas’ attention snap to her, and she sighed. She could never lie in front of Kelas.

“Yes.” She paused. “If you’re here to tell me to get an abortion, then you can leave.”

“What-?!” Julian blinked. “I- no, not at all! If you’d like to keep the egg, then I’m not going to stop you.”

“Good.” Garak’s arm had come to rest lightly on her abdomen, slightly protective. “I do intend to keep them”

“Good.” The resulting silence was tense. “If you’d like any medical help on managing a Human-Cardassian hybrid pregnancy, then I-”

“Doctor Parmak is fully qualified, I assure you.”

“Doctor Bashir wasn’t doubting my skill, Elim.” Kelas interjected, and oh  _ great  _ Garak had managed to anger them too. “I’d appreciate the help, Doctor.”

Julian nodded, but his eyes were on Garak. Garak had a nagging feeling that the situation was fast slipping out of her control. Kelas was watching her too, and that was the worst part because Garak knew Kelas disliked conflict, and would try and solve it. Except this conflict didn’t have a neat, tidy ending - there really wasn’t a good ending to the father of your child turning up after a one-night stand that he insisted Could Not Happen Again. Garak did not need Julian there, and resented his appearance - she was perfectly happy to nurse this egg by herself, with Kelas’ help. This was  _ her  _ egg, even if Julian provided the sperm. If he wanted to be irritating and helpful, he’d have to do a lot better than  _ that _ . 

The stalemate was broken by Kelas clapping their hands together, frowning.

“Right.” they said. “Here’s what we’re doing. I’m going to the University Archives to read up on Cardassian-Human pregnancies. You two are staying here and sorting out whatever issues you’ve been bottling up around each other.”

“Kelas I really don’t think-”

“Doctor Parmak, I shouldn’t really-”

Kelas fixed them all with a hawkish glare, and both Julian and Garak stopped their protesting.

“If I come back and find you’ve discussed nothing,” they stated. “I will  _ not  _ be impressed.”

Garak opened her mouth to respond, but Kelas grabbed their walking cane and was out the door in a flurry of knitwear.  _ Terrific _ , Garak thought, closing her mouth with a sharp  _ snap _ . Stuck in a room with her one-night stand who she was still partially in-love with, with the proximity forced by someone she very much did not want to upset. Kelas Parmak was a crafty, fully Cardassian doctor, who knew exactly how to orchestrate the things they wanted. And apparently today that was socially shaming Elim into spending an excruciating amount of time with her ex-lover and father of her child.

“So… you and Kelas, huh?” Julian asked, a few moments into the resounding silence. “From what I know of them, they’ll be a good parent for the hatchling.”

His voice was filled with ill-disguised bitterness. Garak smiled, and shook her head. “Kelas and I aren’t… involved. They are my companion - they make certain I eat, sleep, dress and don’t go off the deep end.”

Julian blinked, somewhat thrown. “So you’re not…?”

“I believe Kelas is… what’s the Standard term? ‘Aromantic’? They find it very humorous to be mistaken for my lover.”

“Oh.” Julian thought for a moment, then smiled a wry sort of grin. “They didn’t tell me that.”

“They tend not to - not until they’ve assessed you as a threat.” Carefully, Garak took Kelas’ abandoned seat. “It’s a good sign if they’ve left me alone with you.”

“Hmm.” They were both quiet for a while, before Julian spoke again. “I wish you told me, Elim.”

“How could I?”

“With a letter, a note? Maybe even a video call! You sent me that novel of a letter about your past and your present, and not  _ once  _ did you mention ‘Oh yes, by the way, I’m pregnant with your child-!’”

“How could I even  _ begin  _ to tell you? You, with your perfect life on DS9 with your girlfriend and your career-”

“It wasn’t  _ perfect. _ ” Julian sighed, and flopped back into the settee. “Ezri and I broke up two months ago. And Starfleet have all but told me I’m stuck where I am.”

“And how was I to know this?” Garak’s tone was scathing. “In the letters you never wrote? In the replies you never sent?”

Julian rubbed his face with his hands, and let out a low hiss. “I fucked up. I  _ know  _ I fucked up. But I would’ve tried harder if I- if I even knew it was  _ remotely _ possible-”

“You shouldn’t force yourself to care Julian, just because I’m  _ gravid _ .”

“It’s not because you’re pregnant - it’s because it’s  _ you. _ ” Julian looked at her -  _ really  _ looked at her- and Garak found it difficult to look away. “Is it really so hard for you to believe  _ someone  _ cares for you?”

The intensity of his gaze was too much, and Garak shut her eyes to ward it off. “Now you sound like Kelas.”

“Well, maybe it’s because they’re  _ right _ .” Despite having her eyes closed, Garak could feel Julian’s simmering frustration fade into compassion. “Because I do. I might have been a tit about it before, but I do.”

Garak did not respond, instead focusing on trying to get her heart to stop flittering like it was.

“I mean, I didn’t know that you  _ could  _ get pregnant,” Julian continued. “I would’ve been more careful. I would’ve wanted to look after you.” He paused. “How  _ did _ you get pregnant? I was under the impression that you were male.”

“Parmak thinks it was the prolonged low temperature on Deep Space Nine.” Garak finally opened her eyes, and looked at her. “Activated some eons-long biological function, and made me biologically female.”

“And are you happy?”

Garak blinked. “It’s not like I have a choice.”

“Well, of course you do! We’ll have to wait until after the hatching, but we can arrange it with Doctor Parmak - perhaps we can’t get you back to what you were before, but we can find hormones, medical care if you need it. If you’re happy as you are, that’s fine too - any support you need, I can see what I can do-” 

Garak turned away. “If you’re offering this out of some misguided sense of pity-”

“Pity?! Garak, I left Starfleet and moved across  _ half the galaxy  _ for you!” 

Perhaps sometime before all this had happened, Garak would’ve openly called Julian a fool for doing something so ridiculous. But perhaps it was the egg, or all the contact with humans, or too much time with Doctor Parmak and their gentle care, or perhaps all three, but something about the act made Garak’s heart ache with longing.

“Look, I messed up, I  _ know _ .” Julian said, when Garak did not reply. “When you left DS9, I didn’t think you wanted anything serious. Not with me, at any rate - me, who  _ fucked  _ you then fed you some made up bullshit about Why We Couldn’t Be Together.”

“Wasn't I so  _ obvious _ ?”

“You know full well you obscure everything you say with lies and half-truths.” 

Well, that was true. Elim sighed. 

“I  _ did  _ want something.” she said, finally. “I had always wanted  _ something  _ to happen.”

“And you flirted in Cardassian, and I flirted in Human, and somewhere along the line we got our wires crossed and got overwhelmed by everything else.”

“Mmm.” Garak hesitated, then decided to state herself plainly for once. “I don’t know what I want with you now. I want this child, and I… do care for you, but after that night…”

“I know.”

Hesitantly, Julian reached out a hand, and rested it between them on the settee.

“Do you…” he started, then sighed. “Could we start again, please?”

Garak doesn’t answer, but her fingers tangling with his own was all the answer Julian needed.


End file.
